Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
