I must be too annoying 4 u.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
