My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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