Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
