I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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