wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
