Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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