The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
