i think my tv is drunk
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
