we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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