I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
