Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
