Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
