her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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