He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
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