More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
