I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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