btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We left the knife in your bed.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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