Kiss
Puke
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
