Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just had sex on a roof
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
