Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
