Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
lets start a swedish sibling band together
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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