I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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