hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
