Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
