Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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