She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
