dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
don't judge my taste in strippers
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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