Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
