No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
