I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I didn't notice because vodka
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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