i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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