I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
