U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
