My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
