I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
