i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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