How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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