I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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