I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
