so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
