Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
