i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
