i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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