You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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