I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Sober January is a disaster.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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