JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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