Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He keeps bees of course he's weird
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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