I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
