Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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