He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
