i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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