I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
