It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
