420 ftw
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
