made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
