He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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